Hotlist: Goldfish crackers

The short and semi-sweet report on what’s hot and what’s not. 

Rachel Blood | News Reporter

Coming into Bethel as a journalism major, I was told that I’d be diving headfirst into hard topics and pressing societal issues, but I didn’t expect it to be so difficult. This week, I was faced with reporting on one of the most controversial topics facing society today… goldfish crackers.


If nostalgia was a flavor, it would be flavor-blasted cheddar goldfish. They’re addicting and mind-blowingly satisfying. Does anyone else remember eating them right out of the bag while watching Phineas and Ferb?


We know the colors all taste the same, but the same is true for Skittles. They’re still a classic and I’ll defend them until the day I die. 


Not too messy, not too intense– the perfect middle ground.


It’s not that they taste horrible, but Goldfish should stick to crackers. If I really wanted pretzels, I’d hit up Ace for some Dot’s.


Pizza belongs on pizza, not anything else.

COLDEST: VANILLA CUPCAKEGoldfish are crackers. Crackers. Whoever tried to make them into a dessert instead of a savory snack needs to check themselves.

I'm a sophomore English and journalism student at Bethel University in St. Paul, Minnesota. I like reporting on people who make a difference in communities, sparking change through headlines and finding the people on the margins with high stakes. I also like cardigans with pockets, Caribou mochas and the surreal feeling of standing under a streetlight at 2 a.m. I want to edit stories from unrecognized writers and connect people through words.

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