The Egg: December 6th

Inspired by TheSkimm, longer than the e-announcements, created with your short attention span in mind.

By Sarah Bakeman | News Editor

Apply for 2022-2023 Departmental Scholarships

Apply for departmental scholarships by Feb. 10 by visiting and logging into Banner. Click on the financial aid tab, then click on the departmental scholarships link, answer some questions and you’re done! If that sounds like too much work, I’d like to announce that I am developing my own scholarship. The reward will be all of the Fritos bags left at the bottom of my Lay’s Variety Pack. In order to win, you must enter into a Hunger-Games-esque reaping ceremony. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Swingin’ on the Egg

Do you like jazz music and swing dancing? Do you like egg-shaped staircases? If you answered yes to either of these questions, I have great news. This Thursday from 7:30 to 10 p.m., the Bethel Jazz Band will be playing in the Brushaber Commons. I may stop by to listen to the music, but I don’t think I’ll be dancing. I haven’t danced since my spirit was broken. The last time I went swing dancing, an elderly man named Don pulled me off the dance floor to tell me how bad I was. Never again.

Christmas Gala

There’s a Christmas Gala this Saturday from 7 to 11 p.m. at the Delta Sky360 Club at Target Field. Come in semi-formal attire and prepare yourself for appetizers, desserts, photo opportunities and dancing (never again). Online tickets are available here. Either a COVID-19 vaccine or a negative test are required to attend. In all honesty, I’m a little disappointed Bethel hosts dances in the first place. I wish it was a “Footloose”-type situation where the campus pastors banned dancing. If these events secretly took place in an abandoned warehouse, they’d feel a lot cooler. Take notes, Student Activities.

Finals Week Snack Bar

Come grab some snacks on Dec. 13 and 15 from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. in the Brushaber Commons. The E-announcements have promised a combination of both sweet and salty snacks, but beyond that the options are a mystery. It feels a little ominous that these details weren’t shared. What are they hiding? Why can’t we know? I will go to the event, but only to investigate the snack choices. Not to eat. They’ve lost my trust.

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