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The Clarion

The Student News Site of Bethel University

The Clarion

The Student News Site of Bethel University

The Clarion

    Quarantine Intro Survey


    Bethel has gone online for the rest of the semester, and all students are vacating their dorms. Is anyone excited for online learning? Is everyone sheltering in place? Clarion editors give their take.

    By The Clarion Staff

    What is your tweet-length review of the coronavirus?

    Zach Walker (Projects Editor): Although the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sibling is Koopa Troopa with the Bullet Bike, I’m not prepared for this much time alone.

    Jasmine Johnson (Managing Editor): My brain can’t fathom the reality of all this breaking news while I’m cooped up at home. I keep thinking there’s class tomorrow.

    Josh Towner (Editor in Chief): This sucks, but it sucks for everyone. That makes it a little better, I think.

    Emma Harville (Lifestyle Editor): I walked 558 steps yesterday, the majority of which were probably to the kitchen cupboard. Thinking about taking up scrapbooking.

    Which coronavirus meme do you most closely identify with?

    Zach: A couple weeks ago, my dad made a joke about how Corona beer should change its name to Ebola. So I guess that one.

    Jasmine: My friend sent me a TikTok of a girl banging on a pot with a giant spoon while chanting, “I hate social distancing. I hate social distancing. I hate social distancing. And that’s how being an extrovert whose love languages are physical touch and quality time [feels].” I think I found my spirit animal.

    Josh: I’ve discovered an Instagram account called “quentin.quarantino” and it’s now one of the few bright spots in my day.

    Emma: I’ve just been struggling between being very relieved I wasn’t nominated for the ten beautiful women challenge on Instagram and also being kind of salty about it.

    What’s the craziest thing isolation has led you to do?

    Zach: I brushed my teeth for like four minutes the other day.

    Jasmine: I’ve hugged more than one person every day. Just watch me. I’m leaving the house again tomorrow.

    Josh: I haven’t shaved in three days. That doesn’t seem like much, but I haven’t done that since 2017.

    Emma: I gave my sister bangs with kitchen scissors and kind of made her look like Amanda Bynes in “She’s the Man.”

    How long do you think you could last in quarantine?

    Zach: As long as it takes to watch all the Shrek movies.

    Jasmine: If FaceTime and my family are still around, I’m golden. A full mug of black coffee every morning helps, too.

    Josh: I think I’m going to lose it within the week. Sorry, Mom and Dad, living at home isn’t what it used to be.

    Emma: My mom just taped a color-coded chore chart she made in Excel to the fridge. So not very long.

    When did you realize the coronavirus was going to impact your life?

    Zach: After my choir tour was canceled and classes moved online, I realized that, due to studying abroad next fall (fingers crossed), I wouldn’t sing with that group for a year. When I come back, the harmonies and the laughter and the chit chat that annoys the director will sound different. That’s when it hit.

    Jasmine: At 3:45 p.m. on Monday, March 9. I was informed that the mission trip I had been preparing to co-lead since September had been cancelled. The rest of my team found out over email. It felt so sudden and insensitive at the time, but all the following postponed events and cancellations didn’t surprise me. I’m holding onto the hope that I might still get to walk across the stage of Benson Great Hall and shake Jay Barnes’ hand.

    Josh: I started washing my hands before and after doing just about anything, but then the NBA got suspended and Tom Hanks tested positive in a span of 45 minutes, so that put things into perspective for me.

    Emma: When I went to Target the other day to buy necessities (which they didn’t have) and got the same giddy rush of going on a field trip to the science museum in fourth grade.

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